Widows Future

A woman visits a fortuneteller who tells her, “Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, the woman takes a few deep breaths, steadies her voice and asks, “Will I be acquitted?”

£8 Note

A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit £8 note instead of a £10 note. He decided to try it out anyway.

He went to the clerk at the local bank and asked for change.

The clerk looked at the £8 note and gave the crook two £4 notes as change.